Dec 122011
 

Over the weekend, I noticed that people began finding my website using a brand new phrase. It’s not a phrase people have ever used before to find me, and what’s more, it wasn’t a fluke. Multiple people successfully got to this website using it.

The phrase is “jason cochran porn.”

At first, I didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted that my adoring public was thinking of me that way. Then, I had a sinking feeling that maybe I did something at last year’s Christmas party that slipped my memory.

But when I plugged the same search into Google, I found my answer. It turn out that I have a newly minted namesake. Here he is. Grab some blue!

Jason Cochran, porn star

I'm surprised they stuck with the 'h'

So that should give my life some future fodder for Three’s Company-style miscommunications.

Welcome to the Web, Jason, and thanks for the clicks! Shame about your clothes. But I truly hope your erotica-craving fans enjoy my recent post on how dirty Oklahoma! is.

It has not escaped my notice that there are a lot of incoming Cochrans these days. This guy is John Cochran, known simply as “Cochran” from CBS’s Survivor. Cochran also takes his clothes off on camera:

John Cochran, Survivor

Cochran the diabolical mastermind. Well, the other one.

I’d make some amusingly crass crack now, but Cochran attends Harvard Law, so I have to be careful. He also probably endured the same witless grammar school Cochran puns that I did (“It ran? Where did it go?”), and besides, I like the guy. So maybe I should just ask him to write a stern lawyerly letter to the porno Jason Cochran to demand he stop using my name, although Jason Cochran Two’s guns certainly give me credit.

The only person that should be allowed to use my name on screen is me. And besides, in this economy, I need to keep all options open.

I have a few other namesakes on the web. One is an aspiring racecar driver. One is in Arizona real estate. But as far as I can tell, most Cochrans do their jobs clothed.

Most.

 

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